Tuesday, July 31, 2012
There Is No Dog
When philosophers have theorized about God, whether man was created in God’s image or what that entity could look like, they never saw God as a horny teenager--a teen who loves junk food and is constantly pouting.
Yet, this is Bob, who created the heavens and the earth and all its species. And then forgets it, allowing wars and natural disasters just through a normal teen’s thoughtlessness. And who has constantly fallen “in love.” Some of the love interests, mentioned in passing, were taken from the Greek gods and therefore recognizable.
Now meet Lucy, a zoo worker who Bob has newly discovered. A no-nonsense kind of girl who loves her job, Lucy has little time for Bob when she meets him, and although drawn to him in a way she can’t understand, initially rejects him. As Bob is upset, so are the natural forces on earth, and we experience torrential rains, floods, mixed with inexplicable days of gorgeous sun when Bob is more hopeful.
Since the job of being God was won in a poker game, Bob now needs an assistant. Mr. B. does all the mundane tasks of “the job,” such as answering prayers and taking care of Bob, whom he sees as “devoid of discipline, compassion and emotional depth. Foresight…the boy was obviously thick as a divot, and if there hadn’t been a push from someone with a bit of influence, he’d still be out in the middle of the great galactic nothingness sleeping, probably, or picking his nose.”
That pretty much sums up all the characters in the novel. Even Mr. B’s constant complaining becomes tiresome. When Estelle, a goddess, begins planning to change things, the plan is fuzzy and does not draw our attention. Funny, even laugh out loud funny at times, at times very irreverent, but ultimately forgettable.
We will not “stay up all night worrying about the existence of dog.”