The Dead Queen's Club

The Dead Queen’s Club by Hannah Capin
This is going to sound hokey.  In fact, you will be tempted to put off reading this.  But don’t!  It was a hoot and 1/3!

So let’s get the hokey part out of the way:  In a forgettable small Midwest town, the high school is obsessed with football star and gorgeous guy Henry…Plantagenet.  He’s now on his 6th girlfriend.  2
are dead.  His first, (Catalina Aragon) left him.  His 2nd (Anna Boleyn) died in a horrible accident where her head was severed.  

We all know that poem, right?  Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survive.

So the not hokey part:  The story is told by Henry’s best friend Annie, who is determined to not only solve the case of the dead girlfriends, but also to clear Henry’s name.  And she is downright 
hilarious:  snarky,  irreverent,  bright and spot-on.

So as the real Anne Boleyn (and the character Anna) said, Ainsi sera groigne qui groigne: Grumble all you like, this is how it’s going to be.

Highly entertaining (and recommended) for ages 14 up.

Blood, Water, Paint

Blood Water Paint by Joy McCullough


Artemesia, now seventeen, wants to be a painter.

Unfortunately it is 17th century Rome, and women, as property, are not allowed a voice, let alone a career. Each night though, she climbs the stairs to the dimly lit studio, correcting her father’s painting so they will sell.

Then her father’s allows a reknown painter to instruct her, hoping to earn a commission from him. Artemesia hopes for romance.

Interspersed with her mother’s Biblical stories of Judith and Susannah (as you have never understood them), she finds the strength to fight back. But at what price?

The amount and imagery of blood in the stories make this one reason it is a difficult read. McCullough based this novel on the true story of Artemisia Gentileschi, and the written accounts of her trial.  Recommended for readers ages 14 and up.

The Girl in the Tower

The Girl in the Tower by Katherine Arden

Sequel to The Bear and the Nightingale, this story takes up where the first book ended: Vasya has left her family and her village. Together, she and her marvelous horse (with some help from Morozko, the frost demon) journey towards Moscow, and (of course) things go terribly wrong along the way.

Familiarity with Russian folklore will definitely aid in understanding and enjoying this dense, dark tale. Vasilisa and Morozko figure in many traditional stories, as do...oh, but that would be a spoiler.

If you know the stories, you may recognize characters along the way; otherwise, you will be as surprised as Vasya herself when true identities are revealed.

Some kissing, some bloodshed, some nekkidness, some demons and devils, and quite a lot of magic. This is second in a trilogy, but does not end on a cliffhanger.

Highly recommended reading for cold, blustery nights when the fire is ticking in the stove, and winter is just on the other side of the wall. Ages 12 to adult.

Exquisite Corpse (graphic novel)

Exquisite Corpse  by Penelope Bagieu

translation by Alexis Siegel

Twenty-something Zoe is stuck in a dead-end job, with a deadbeat boyfriend and no prospects for a better future.  She doesn't read much, either, which is the reason she doesn't recognize that the oddly reclusive writer she meets by chance.  

It's also the reason that she doesn't know that the author she meets is supposed to be dead.

Sexy, poignant, and silly in spots.  The ending made me laugh.  

Though written and marketed for adults, mature teens will enjoy it.  

(The) Book of Life

The Book of Life by Deborah Harkness.  

Book 3 of the Souls Trilogy, this does not stand alone.  However, for fans of the series, it is a great ending.

 In Book 2, (Shadow of  Night) Diana and Matthew returned to present time, pregnant with twins, to find the magical alchemical manuscript Ashmole 782,  The Book of Life, to witches, vampires, and daemons. The new family spurs them to pursue creating a legal marriage out their illegal union of witch and vampire.  To do this, they must create a new family branch, and pull all creatures closer in understanding their possibilities and origins.

Matthew’s blood disease becomes center stage when his son Benjamin Fuchs returns to create havoc, trying to destroy the family. It is this vampire that generates the central problem, suspense, and violence.  And gives us an amazing ending.

I disliked dragging an entire genetics class into Matthew’s research.  It did not make sense for the need for secrecy; it did help the reader to understand genetic background.  Overall, the writing was not as solid as the first two- perhaps she was rushed into the third?  It’s just that we all wanted a satisfying ending and soon that we forgive Harkness.

I did like the change in Diana, even in Book 2, when she became pregnant, and in this book as a mother.  Always a strong character, she shows a bit of  “tiger mom” aspects.

A word to teen readers:  the first in the series is wonderful and accessible for teens.  This book, perhaps, is for older teens.

Nearly Gone

Nearly Gone by  Elle Cosimano

Nearly Boswell used to have money.  Then her father disappeared; her mother became a strip-tease dancer; they moved into a trailer park.  Now Nearly reads the personals in the local paper.   At first, it was because she saw an ad that seemed like her dad was trying to get in touch with her.  Later it was just something that seemed to express her own loneliness.  She still has a friend from those earlier days, wealthy Jeremy, and a friend in science class, Anh Bui, who is also trying for the same scholarship Nearly needs to go to college.  

One other thing about Nearly-  she can sense feelings when she touches someone - so she avoids touching anyone.

Every Friday, a personal ad now appears in the paper, leaving a scientific clue about a crime:  a hurt cheerleader, a dead cat, and then a string of murders.  

Nearly tries to solve the mystery, aided--and distracted--by the new "bad boy in town" Reece, who hangs out with the drug dealer in her trailer park; has a police record; and attracts Nearly to an extent she doesn’t understand.  She wants to touch him.

 This is one story that will leave you sweating, looking for clues, wanting to throw things, but definitely engaged.  Can you guess the killer before the last person is killed?  I doubt it.

One last thing- who names their child Nearly and why???

The story will draw the teen crowd, but the violence and sexual decisions place it with the 15 and up crowd.

The Glass Casket

The Glass Casket  by McCormick Templeman 

Rowan Rose lives in a small medieval-ish town.  Girls are not allowed schooling, and the town worships a goddess.  It is a quiet town, and the only thing that is of any consequence is that a new girl, about Rowan’s age, has arrived.  Fiona Eira is Rowan’s long-lost cousin, and is a very beautiful girl, but aloof.  Rowan is required by her father not to speak to her as well.  Then five riders from the king are found dead, laid out naked on the snow.  The town officials decide these were wolf attacks...and when people in the town are suddenly killed- literally ripped apart, sometimes inside their locked houses--the officials still look for wolves.

The horror and blood are graphically detailed, as is the affair of Rowan’s best friend, Tom, and Fiona, which borders on necrophilia.  The town officials finally agree to fight the “thing in the forest.”  

Not for the faint of heart.

Containing elements of Snow White, and Snow-White and Rose-Red, and of course, many vampire stories, this is really its own folktale, featuring good witches and greywitches.  The mystery is very well done and will keep surprising readers right up to the end.  

Unfortunately, the characters are less well drawn, and we only really care about them as instruments to unravel the plot.

Recommended for readers ages 15 and up

Somebody Up There Hates You

Somebody Up There Hates You  by Hollis Seamon

Richie has cancer. 

At seventeen,  he knows that it is a matter of a couple of months, not years.  

He is now living in a Hospice unit, one of two teenagers.  The other teen is Sylvie, fifteen, who also has cancer, and also has a matter of months.  

When Sylvie announces to Richie that she does not want to die a virgin (and recruits him to help with this), there is a problem: her father alternates between hovering around his little girl as a protector, and drinking so much the staff is likely to throw him out of the unit. 

This is a reality-based book of teens dying; of teens not giving up; of those dying around them, and of elderly people whom we see in a different light.  With lots of plot twists inside a narrow story line, the entire cast of characters is simply wonderful, unusual, and not at all predictable.

While Richie’s mother is ill herself with a cough and cold, but not allowed into Hospice because of the germs she carries, Richie is entertained by his uncle and grandmother, characters you will love and cheer.  Then you will be glad they aren’t your relatives.  Richie’s uncle sneaks him out of the Hospice unit on Halloween, allows him way too much beer, pays a girl to pay attention to him, then disappears.  Richie’s grandmother is a gem of a smart-mouthed (wonder where Richie got his mouth?) blowsy woman who barges her way through situation.

Alternately sad, poignant, and hilarious, smart-mouthed Richie and SUTHY (Somebody Up There Hates You- the persona who is responsible for the cancer in his body) are impossible to forget.  A tough subject so very well handled, any teen will love it, although the parents might balk at the potty mouth on that kid!  Obviously ready to pair with Green’s Fault In Our Stars.  The parallels are impossible to ignore, although Somebody Up There Hates You easily stands on its own pedestal. 

Recommended 14 up. 

alcohol, bullying,(a lot of) cussing, death, drinking, gay friends, grieving, kissing, masturbation, nekkidness, prejudice, religious beliefs, sexual situations, Star Trek Sex, and violence.

Lexicon

Lexicon  by Max Barry

audiobook narrated by Heather Corrigan and Zach Appelman

Are you a cat person, or a dog person?

Choose a number between 1 and 100.

What is your favorite color?

Do you love your family?

Why did you do it?

For reasons he (and the reader) do not understand, Wil Parke has been attacked in an airport restroom, asked several nonsensical questions, and then kidnapped at gunpoint by an enigmatic man who calls himself Tom Eliot.

In a time shift, street hustler Emily Ruff is asked the same nonsensical questions and eventually recruited to a mysterious organization that promises to teach her to be more persuasive.

How do these things come together?  

Explosively.

Using a volatile combination of action sequences interspersed with scientific (but never boring!) explanations about brain research and neuro-linguistic programming, the author drags the reader deeply into this deeply violent, disturbing story of modern life and the power of words as weapons.  

This book was included on the 2013 School Library Journal "Best Adult Books 4 Teens" list. It will definitely thrill some teens, but readers are warned that violence and cussing completely saturate the story.

Recommended for readers who can survive the cussing and who enjoy action, suspense, and contemporary dystopic fiction.

Anatomy of a Single Girl

Anatomy of a Single Girl by Daria Snadowsky

I always knew I wanted my first time to be with someone I loved and who loved me, which it was…. But shouldn’t I want that for every time?

Dom (Dominique) returns the summer after her first year in college.  She has had a bad break up with the boyfriend she thought would be forever.  Her first love, first kiss, first sexual experience, and now first breakup. (Anatomy of a boyfriend, 2008)  Then she meets a handsome guy- named, appropriately enough, Guy. He wants no part of romance, but does want sex.  Duh.  Dom is sure that she wants the whole romantic love thing, but sex is fun too.  Duh again.  What this book really is, is a treatise on safe sex.  

Before Dom, a pre-med student, will agree to the “friends with (lots) of benefits thing, she wants to be sure they are both following the right rules.  It’s pretty one-sided:  Dom tells Guy all the requirements, and he agrees.  We don’t see enough discussions of safe sex in teen lit, but this is pretty clinical - like Snadowsky was trying too hard to get the information out.  Because it’s couched in Dom’s pre-med background, it is understandable within the plot.  Will it be ignored because it is so dry and one-sided?

There are other parts that help get the book through its tough times:  Dom’s feelings ring true as an eighteen-year-old, just out of first year college.  She alternately loves her parents (she declares that she won the parent lottery) and hates her parents being too restrictive.  Her best friend Amy is fun and believable.   There is a nice balance between wanting to be a little girl, and wanting to grow up, and lots of frank talk about sex.  

Dom’s parents are a hoot.  Even Guy is not entirely one-sided.  He does care for Dom, and he is honest about just wanting sex, not a relationship.  Perhaps he shares a few too many sexual positions with Dom, or maybe just the reader?  This is not meant to be a sex manual, but it comes close at times.

But really, as Dom says, shouldn’t ALL her sexual experience be with someone she loves and loves her? 

To Be Perfectly Honest : a novel based on an untrue story  by Sonya Sones

How can you tell

if Colette is lying?

Her mouth

is open.

Colette is a truly unreliable narrator.  She continually lies (she likes to call it "reimagining reality") to make her life seem more interesting...and to annoy her movie-star mother, who rarely pays attention to Colette and her little brother Will.

When Colette's summer plans change from "Paris with friends" to "San Luis Obispo with mom and Will and Mom's new co-star," she gets mad...and the lies start to stack up.  

In the middle of this comes Connor, Colette's first real boyfriend.  If only she could stop lying to him!  

HERE AT LAST is a book with a believable main character who actually says "NO, I don't want to have sex with you (yet) and sticks to her decision throughout the book.  Not because she isn't attracted to Connor--she is.  But because she really doesn't feel ready for sex.  

Connor is not prepared to accept "no" as a final answer from Colette...and he's prepared to lie through his teeth to get what he wants.

This book is a quick, fun book-in-verse filled with enjoyable--but unreliable--characters.  

No sex, but a few steamy close calls, some minor cussing, and some underage drinking and drug use.  The adults are easy to dislike at first, but they (especially Colette's mom) really redeem themselves at the end.

Recommended for readers ages 14 and up.

Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

Hold Me Closer, Necromancer  by Lish McBride
College dropout Sam ("Samhain Corvus LaCroix") feels lost in a dead-end burger-flipping job in Seattle's U-District...until a seriously creepy dude called Douglas takes a seriously unhealthy interest in Sam.  The next morning, Sam's smart-alecky girl-buddy's head is delivered to him in a box.

Ooky?   Actually, no:  it's hilarious.

Because Brooke's head is still smart-alecky. 

It turns out that Sam's talent as a necromancer has been disguised all his life, but now the secret is out and there are dead things showing up everywhere.  Including the panda cage at the zoo, and certain high-profile rock bands. 

It also turns out that Seattle isn't just full of dead stuff.  It's also full of werewolves, witches and various other fey creatures, including a bum-kicking hybrid were-hound who looks great in a Batman t-shirt.

And this book?  It's full of awesome.  Think smart-talking slapstick "Ferris Bueller" meets ultra-camp "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

Minor cussing, blood, zombies, battlefield violence between the bad guys and an impromptu cavalry of witches and weres, Star Trek sex, and waffles. 

Highly recommended for readers ages 14 to adult.

Viva Jacquelina!

Viva Jacquelina! by L.A. Meyer

 

The irrepressible Jacky Faber is pressed into service yet again for British Intelligence...this time, in Spain and Portugal.  She charms her way into the household of the artist Francisco Goya, participates in the running of the bulls, and collects secret information during trips to the palace in Madrid. 

 

But when the Spanish Inquisition shows up (who expected THAT?!), Jacky hits the road again, cavorting with Romani (gypsies) as she heads towards the relative safety of the harbor in Gibralter.  And from there...well, that will be the next book!

 

Fans of the series will love Jacky's typical madcap adventures as she rubs shoulders with famous figures from history and literature.  Some cussing, some bloodshed, and a few sexual close-calls.  I look forward to hearing the audiobook version, recorded as always by Katherine Kellgren.   Recommended ages 13 to adult. 

Ivy

 

Okeksyk, Sarah. Ivy.  (graphic novel)

Ivy is a talented high school artist growing up in a small town in Maine.  Her mom wants her to study business at a local college, but Ivy wants to study painting...as far away from her hometown as possible.  Her emotional roller coaster sometimes derails Ivy's good intentions, but gradually she works towards creating her own kind of freedom.

Although Ivy was published in 2011, one gets the feeling that it is set in a much earlier time.  She exchanges hand-written letters with her long-distance boyfriend, and they call each other on land-line telephones (the kind with cords!).  Still, the emotional journey towards adulthood is universally uncomfortable, and the story is well-drawn and well-told.  This graphic novel features on-page sex (tactful, but unmistakable), drug use and under-age drinking as well as lots of cussing and depictions of some seriously dysfunctional families.  Ivy is not a happy story, but the end promises just a bit of hope for the future.

The Wonder Show

 

 

The Wonder Show by Hannah Barnaby

The year is 1939.  14-year-old Portia Remini was abandoned by her family at McGreavey's Home for Wayward Girls, but she runs away when her best friend dies tragically.  Through a series of accidents and coincidences, Portia ends up working as a cook in Mosco's Traveling Wonder Show.  There, Portia meets and befriends the Wild Albinos, the Fat Lady, the Bearded Lady, the Strong Man and the other freaks, and tries to find her own place among them while looking for the father who has been missing for many years.

 

Circus and sideshow history and jargon intermingle with the tale of a girl who collects stories and seeks the truth among people whose livelihoods depend on falsehood and misdirection.  Some cussing.  No kissing or sex, but there are tactful descriptions of the "blowoff" part of the show where the conjoined twins dance naked for a crowd of rubes.

 

Ages 12 to 18.

Hooked

Hooked  by Catherine Greenman

Thea considers herself savvy and spunky, but she throws all that away when she starts dating Will, who "hooks" her with his good looks and charm.  Their love is strong, the sex is fantastic...and then, Thea gets pregnant.  The early-abortion plan (endorsed by parents, friends, and Will) is abandoned when Thea discovers that she loves her unborn child too much for abortion or adoption.  Plan #2 centers on everyone supporting Thea and baby Ian (and Will too), physically, emotionally and financially.  There is a bit of squeaking about this, but eventually, everyone falls in line because they love Thea and the baby is adorable.   Thea's plans for the future include spending more time with her formerly-estranged dad, making bundles of money by designing the latest crochet fashion merchendise, and eventually getting back together with Will.

Realistic?  Uh, no. 

Maybe that's how folks do things in The Big City, but in my small town, parents of unwed parents don't hand over $10,000 (each!) as starter money on top of the rent-controlled apartment they finance for the teens and little Ian.  Thea's narrative voice rescues this story from the round file:  she is spunky, and she stands up for the ideas and the people she values, including herself. 

Not a first purchase, but don't overlook this title if budgets can support it.  There is on-page (but not graphic) sex, minor cussing, and some underage drinking, but nowhere near as gratuitous as Gossip Girl and that ilk.  Ages 14 and up.

Swim the Fly

Swim the Fly  by Don Calame
15-year-old Matt and his buddies Sean and Cooper have a long-standing tradition:  at the beginning of each summer, they set a challenge for themselves.  This year the challenge is to see a real live girl naked.  Magazines don't count, the internet doesn't count, family members don't count.  The boys are absolutely focused on their goal...except when they get distracted by poop, masturbation, and the attractions of the girl's locker room. 

Over-the-top comedy and crazy situations (like the time the boys dress up as girls, or the time they hide in a closet during a party, or the time they try to peek over the top of dressing room) had me literally laughing out loud.  Give this to boys who enjoy Three-Stooges-esque humor and poop jokes.  A sweet romance between Matt and a girl is a surprise to the main character, but savvy readers will see it coming.

Recommended for readers (especially boys) ages 12 to adult.  Underage drinking, mild cussing and *yes* there is a naked woman...but no sex.